Our Life

So, university is back in session next week and there are some tasty gents walking around downtown of late.

Buzzkill alert: I realised I'm old enough to be their mom. Effin.

buzz alert…
they're students, they'll have a range of 'tastes'….
just don't start taking in laundry

are going to get run over by a pretty girl in a silver Volvo if they don't get out of the middle of the street with their cases of beer, their gllreazy pizza slices, and their bravado.

15 days until the UGA/ASU game. It will be a complete unbridled, unadulterated riotous event… and I will be in the midst of the pretty young femmes, as the one who is highly sought and coveted; the deeply desired and pined for; and yet will I be altogether elusive and unattainable.

Ah, you have found the place I go when minding my own business and the student hunks -o- hormones are walking toward me downtown or on my jaunts across campus. I smile back and boost their self esteem until I send them a "sorry boys, this lass is spoken for" vibe. Oh, how their eyes droop at that realisation when they and their Axe spray breeze by.

Seriously, I'm going to run them down.

I wasn't talking about McDonalds.

Damn! My flowery prose was a waste of time on that one.

Always to be found at reunions of their old uni's, they may have left but they always return to the scene of their triumph at uni. Also another phenemomenallly good way is to loiter with intent just outside the FTSE buidling at lunch time,

They never batted an eye my way when I was single. Losers.

when a guy in his early twenties tries to chat me up, i feel like a pedophile….

That's because your cunt is all dried up.

then kindly take your straw out you filthy old perv

I'd rather a youngster than the old geezers at a firefighter's convention who were making the drunken moves on me.

My straw is not in your cunt, its in your ass.

that should be the name of a country and western song…

true, that would be worse. imagine a night out where no-one tried any moves….

No imagining – only memories.

My but you're a buzzkill.

you could always try a line like: "have you noticed the logical inconsistencies of The Lakehouse" …..no buzzkill there.

ps it was a two-way question…i would imagine that sleazes are a necessary evil…the only thing worse than being wolfwhistled walking past a construction site is NOT being wolfwhistled walking past a construction site.

Okay, glad you said that because I think I'm the only one in the world who was actually flattered when I got whistled at walking by a construction site.

but youre a guy

"you could always try a line like: "have you noticed the logical inconsistencies of The Lakehouse" …..no buzzkill there."

True and apologies for my hypocricy. I left that movie bummed out over two scenes that didn't work. Watching them made the rest of the movie sink.

Guys need boosts to the ego too, sexist.

by being whistled at by men?

Why can't gay men work construction?

<makes mental note to look out for pink triangles outside construction sites>
Sings: Its fun to stay at the YMCA…….

<waiting for Village People to show up in a song thread>

judging by your pic, they are already here

judging by yours, I'm expecting Meatloaf

i would have said Andy Warhole….but im not expecting anything clever from you.

My 2 favorite ladies
now where are the young bucks at?

Or someone you're supposed to "respect"?

I am sarcastic to my boss, they come and ask me if i can do some work, knowing that i have nothing to do and i say
"Oh i don't know about that"

I aren't sarcastic to my father, although he thinks i am being when i call him a wanker, dick etc

Morning Rich

If some silly hussy called Nicola turns up, we have to blow her away with our sarcastic minds, she was calling this nice guy called Nathan fat, when i think he is only big boned

She would just have to be herself to get shot down by us, there are a few more to come yet, but they tun up a little later

Am i one to be shot at or will i surrive the mighty ducks?

Middle school teachers don't notice. It's why I loved them so.

High school teachers notice, find it amusing, and give it right back.

Yes.
All the time.
To my parents. And my brothers and sisters.
And everyone, really.

I think everything I have ever said to a teacher was sarcastic. I don't know how I made it through high school without ever getting in trouble…

Actually, when I was in 6th grade I think I was nice to my teachers. That is until one teacher called me a know-it-all stuck up brat. She was just bitter because I corrected her mistakes (which were many…) I think it was after that incident that I started being sarcastic to my teachers…

I do it to my boss sometimes, but mostly the administrative assistant who has the power to fire me if she desired to. I do it practically all the time with her. She dishes it right back, though, and we could go back and forth with it for hours, if we had the time. she's only about 3 years older than me, so I think that helps! We're also extremely fluent with joking insults.

me sarcastic to my teacher? Nooooooooooooooooo……..…..well maybe alittle

Not to my teachers, I'm too polite o(^.^)o

They told me about you… hope you like school
you'll be there a long long long time

Who told you about me? Are you being sarcastic?, No, I hate school, but thanks anyways o(=_=)o

I am not even a being

What the hell are you talking about?

being teacher?

Your not a teacher?! I'm so sorry, I'm really really slow.

Phil are you trying to confuse the poor girl?

Have you ever thought of seaking help?

But it must of been hard to tape the cat, did he not struggle? You must have seaked help.

Well if she left the cat food outside, she was asking for it. However I shall pass on seeing the video.

o(O_o)o, Is that even called sarcasm!? What kind of sick mind do you have!? to tape a CAT to a weel and let it get run-over, and then you say it was sad even though you did it.
That is NOT sarcasm.

Bad boys do bad things

We had a somewhat idiotic science teacher in high school
The boys like to steal his prized toy
He kept finding it on the top of the school… guess it was more misplacing than stealing.

They went a little too far when a bunch of them turned his Gremlin ( what a lemon of a car) on it's roof.

They never did match fingerprints too anyone

A) Russian style ( calipers on privates ).

B) Execution Style ( Bullet to the head)

C) Rip their throat out

D) Let old people tell him/her a story until they die of boredom

E) Punch them to death

F) Slow and painful ( use your imagination)

G) Filter them

H) Let him/her walk the plank ( ARG )

I) Human torch style ( wohoooo)

Unfortunately the list isn't definitive. I'm afriad you'll have to come up with a longer list.

I FORGOT J) WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Thank you.

J) I would make them choose which loved ones they had to kill first in order to save the rest of their family. Of course, the weapon they'd have would be a rusty knife. After that, I would prevent them from killing themselves, and use a small knife and give them a hundred cuts or so (all in the lower part of their body). Then, I would feed them an intravenous dip, so that they wouldn't die of loss of blood. I would also put salt in the wounds.
After that, I would feed their feet (up to the ankles) to some hungry dogs, pigs, lions, etc. Again, I would leave them on an IV.
The next day, I would give them a different intravenous, with piss and drugs to heighten the senses. I would make them watch me feed the rest of the family to a pit full of rabid hyenas.
Then I would throw them into a field of crocodiles.

That's Kevin's style, right there.

WOW! Thats a good one.

bullet to the head..clean n simple..

I've always liked the old method of duelling with swords. A sense of purpose, satisfaction at ringing him through yourself and completely within the laws of the country.

(tats kinda time-consuming to die, u've watched too much of R & J obviously)

I'll put a bomb under the victim's feet so that it goes off when the guy moves. ~Kaboom~

Penelope Plum… in the Den… with a knife (I know you ass holes remember Clue, don't even front)

You guys have serious issues if your thinking of how too kill people?

But in answer to the question, i would shove A thousand tiny blades up their arse so the had to shit blades. Then i would hang them by there wrist and light a fire under neath them but so the flames arn't touching, then i would take them down and tye them to a motobike, making them run on the burnt blistered feet.
I would let them rest for an hour then pour bleach into their eyes, letting them rinse it out with sulphuric acid and towl.
Then slit there throat and wrist
xmx
xmx

Very good Megan….almost as good as my own.

If it was a guy….I'd wrap their gentials in cloth soaked in gasoline, and set fire to it (they'd be tied down, of course)…I would also use a suction pump (a very strong one), and put it close to his asshole in water….so that his intestines would be pulled out of him until his mouth was ripped out of the other end, causing him to become inside out to some degree (let's just say that's physically possible).

someone has way too much time…

I would shank them with my colorguard saber, then slowly beat them with my colorguard rifle. of course, that's if they made fun of guard. if they were just being a general stupid person, i would punch them in the nose so hard it penetrated their brain.

Actuallly scratch that, I would stab them to death with a spork and then use their intestines for shoelaces.

wow. I din't know i could be so violent.

like i do with my other victims…

I cut out there tongue, then one ear. i than take the tongue and eat it in front of them after this i repeatidly stab them lightly just enough to break through the skin a little. after that i take my gun out and shoot them in the knee caps. once all that is down i slit their throat form ear to ear and harvest their organs for money.

well of course i would go with ethan style which is the following

1. tie person to a splintery chair
2. cut down their arms and put salt and lemon juice in them.
3. make them listen to aaron carter and watch reruns of the simple life
4. if they live through step 3 then they are a worthy adversary and you should do the following, make them kill their pets family and close friends brutally.
5. (from saw3) make them swim in a vat of dead pigs
6. throw them into a pool of rabid wolverines with lasers attached to their heads
7. if its a girl munge their dead body.

thats how id do it

Hey… I'm not tryin 2 incriminate myself. What's the question again?
HUh…. i don't get it… I'm leaving.
Bye

Softly!

Punch them to death

I didn't learn muay thai for nothing

muay thai? sounds like a resteraunt.

I would throw them in a garbage compactor.

Beat someone with a spiked bat, should make a nice sound

You are sick! ……but very creative.

I wouldn't have to kill them because they'd kill themselves after I locked them in a cell where the walls are entirely composed of televisions that play Brittney Speare's music videos nonstop and a pistol with one shot.

Run them over with a bicycle…the tires are made of titanium blades.

No poetry for Meagan then.

Nasty, nasty.

How about I ask you to come and sit in my chair?

shadows

I would take his fucking keyboard away!

Every time we get some good threads on this board Rich buries them and brings back some mundane thread for some childish attiention.

I thought that was my job!

Grow some balls Phil. If Rich is the best that you can do, and you still want to be his best bud even when he tells you that you are fucking up the board, I can't help you. Rich is the furthest from smart and funnythat I know. But good luck being his bitch. You do it well.

You are saying that Rich is the furthest from smart and funny that you know?
Where the fuck do you live?
In a hostpital for retards?

Liz is completely right. Are you Rich's bitch number two?

your name is gay

I think I got them already! MacDermott reminds of MacGerms… should McAfee be advised that you are roaming the World Wide Web?
It would be hard to be Rich's bitch… whatever you are!
I am not the right gender MacIdiot!

Change your middle name to Suicide Ti Bash!

I agree!

Rashed, don't paint the gays like that. There is nothing wrong with being gay.

His name is stupid, not gay.

No Rich is my Bitch, if you would like to apply for the role of floor cleaner then you must have some logic and the ability to use a mop, so unfortunatly, dont bother applying, i think you know why

true, my apologies, i defended gays in the other thread, i have nothin against them

it makes me laugh how defensive people get about homophobia.

Fuck the gays, fuck them in their gay arses

They'll love that

are you homophobic robbo?

No, he isnt, he loves the cock

are those goggles to keep the cum out the eyes?

Why are you asking me?
Its Murray that loves the cock

Pops, dont deny that you are the cock conisuer

you taught me everything i know

i did but you have suceeded everything that i did, and have sucked and fucked more cocks than i could ever dream of

don't be so modest, i will never be better than you

oh but you are Pops, just admit, you dont have to be shy around me

you are the 1 being shy, i know i am good, but i am aware that you are better

You think that Liz is jelous that she isnt Swedish?
Finnish women look like men

you are most welcome

As if we all haven't heard enough in a lives. =P

Share your best (or worst) you've heard.

Everytime Chuck Norris is hit, a unicorn is born. This is why unicorns don't exist.

:D~

Chuck Norris' tears are a known cure for cancer.

Cancer is still among the leading causes of death among humans because…

(you guessed it)

Chuck Norris doesn't cry.

John Callwood… this one's for you.

Chuck Norris recently vacationed in The Virgin Islands….

Now they're just called…..

(hold your breath)

The Islands.

Chuck Norris once took a leak, that's how the mighty mississippi river came to be.

Chuck Norris once walked the street with an enormous erection, there were no living survivors

Chuck Norris once decapitated a person from the back of the head when he went around the world with his round house kick.

When Chuck Norris does "Push ups" he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down.

Who's Chuck Norris?

An out of date crap american actor,I use the term actor loosely.

Once again, it is left to me to point out that anyone stupid enough to enjoy 'Chuck Norris' jokes should just add the application to their profile and stop boring the rest of us with your idiocracy.

This thread is almost as bad as the 'Yo Momma' one.

yep yep, and you bothered to post that^

Never heard of him. Should I have?

No, i have had the unlucky pleasure of seeing one of his movies, Its more Gnats scene.

Is an unlucky pleasure something you have and then feel unhappily pleased about?

you know I don't have feelings! I just heard that term somewhere and thought it made me sound human.

Rich pretty much summed it up. Bad red-neckish Karate movie actor that has somehow spawned a sub-culture of super hero jokes.

How droll. It almost makes you sound human. Under that alien skin there beats the heart of an android.

I try.

Tell me about it, very trying.

Oh I didn't see that coming!

That's because you have your blinkers on.

Missing in Action was a good film ya bastards!

Well if he was missing he should have stayed that way.

Nah, the only decent thing he's ever done was getting the shit kicked out of him by Bruce Lee in Way of the Dragon….

Another fan eh? Good on you Ben, pin your colours to the mast.

Hey Nic,Im defo not a fan
I just had to clear that up!

Of course! I love hammy wooden martial arts actors from marlboro country.

Then use clearasil, not IAFIS

I just KNEW it! Right up your street.

He doesn't live up my street! How did you know, pray tell….?

Just imagining Chuck Norris talking in a yorkshire accent now

to rob us blind!

high or low?

To learn how to sleep with your eyes open

you didnt go to school, dont be soo silly
you cant even spell your name

if they had spelt it right, then you would be able to say it

to remove any trace of the illusion of free will AND crush any spark of creativity…..

Today I quoted the lyrics of Paul Simon's "Kodachrome" to a group of 7th graders:
"When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school it's a wonder I can think at all. But I know my life of education hasn't hurt me none; I can read the writing on the wall."

to educate

did it work?

we'll know that if my bridge stands

What kind of bridge?

the overhead type

I sincerely believe that school, a government insitution which educates the young, unsculpted bright minds of tomorrow, indeed teaches how to look at the world in the most objective way possible. School has taught so many of us that even if everything can be reduced to a number, that does not mean you can't freely express yourself, even if what you are supposed to produce is meant to fit in with a cirriculum. There is no modifying historical events to fit in the context of what the government wishes to present, that occurs in such a fine institute. So to all the youngsters who complain about school, I will always tell them "There is no reason why your life/education can't be a destination/number rather than a journey."

Have you read the speach that Bill Gates gave to some highschool students?

No, may I be bold to assume you see a similarity between our ramblings?

Well, the government has to keep the littluns busy in their formative years, right? Otherwise they'd be up to no good. Keep em in school till they're 18, and by then they know better. Ideally.

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now.. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Drink and get wasted. That's at least what everyone tells me.

……………………..……………

Are the . the amount of time you had to take over first grade?

to teach bunches of crap.

in that case stay home and remain illiterate

If you stay at home you'd never see hot guys

case and point dear. stay in school so you may drool over boys so cool.

What is she going to do 9 months later…
dump things on mama?

I can't do that.Im too cool to even notice them.

Don't tell me. You, Shy?

I won't

Your mama is so fat that when she was at the beach sunbathing, the coast-guard had to ask her to roll over so the tide could come in

your mamas so ugly, that when you were born, the doctor slapped her

Yo mamma's so dumb, she got hit by a parked car.

She's also so fat that she went sunbaking and Greenpeace tried to release her back into the ocean

Yo mamma's so hairy, I see you still suffering the rugburns she gave you on the way out

you mamas so fat that when she lies around the house she really lies AROUND the house!

yo mamma's so nasty she brings her own crabs to the beach!

yo mammas so fat that she sat on a rainbow and out popped skittles!

yo mamma's so poor that one day I saw her kicking a can down the street. I asked what she was doing.. she said "Moving!"

i assume the rest of the world is asleep so nz and oz have to battle it out with yo mama jokes! ps what part of oz are you from…cause if you tell me i will know the difference

incidentally, did you know that anyone can look up your friends pics?

Your momma's so stupid….I told her drinks were on the house…so she went and got a ladder…

i assume so too… what do they think they're doing? having a life? pffft yeah right
i'm from Perth… the furthest part of Oz from you… is that a good thing?

my parole officer assures me itsa good thing.

lol

i live in tauranga……but youre not likely to know it unless you've bin here.

i note perth peoples have sing-song accent….incidentally what is the collective term…perthians? perthites? perthers?

Payal…nice

my kids love yo mama jokes…so i am secretly building my repitore

Here's another one for your kids C.J :D…..

Yo Momma's so ugly…..Her shadow gave up!

And another one C.J…
Yo Momma's so stupid…I found her peaking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side!

yay.,…ive bin getting sick of the same old ones….heres my classic favourite….

when your grandaddy was born they passed out cigars
when your daddy was born they passed out cigarettes
when you was born they just passed out

(not technically a Yo Mama joke, but same genre)

Well this one is a little different..
Yo momma's so dumb….She celebrates Mummies day in Egypt!

Yo mamas so fat she went swimming in Japan and they harpooned her!

lets get off mommaz coz i just got off yours

lol

Yo Mama is so fat she has been used to help people give birth. They sit her on top and out comes the baby.

The mother then dies…..

And another one…

Yo Mama's nickname is America because when she lies down she streches from sea to shining sea….

Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

yo mamaz so fat that when she went to Burger King, she didn't eat a burger….she ate the whole building!

yo mumma's so fat thar she has streach marks………on her bathtub.

since we all end up talking about nothing, no matter what the topic…..why don't we just start by talking about nothing?

Good thread. Although Gabs M already beat you to it.

nothing is as nothing does…

her thread 'explanation' inspired this one.

nothing……is what floats between my two ears

nothing……is what i think of the people on IAFIS who claim i hate them

nothing…..is what im doing when i am online

nothing……to lose but minutes in the outside world

CJ! Of all of the things to take inspiration from….

sorry! is this an Emmy acceptance speech

yada yada yada

speaking of 'nothing'….do you know what REALLY ticks me off?
when people leave the DOTS out of my name! funnily enough,
some friends used to call me "C dot J"

yada yada yada exactly….this is a thread about nothing

I'll just call you Dot. How's that CJ?

I LIKE IT

nothing…..is the hardest thing to say

nothing to see

nothing to know
nothing to do
nothing to be
nothing for you and me

Speaking of, while I'm being a bitch (although when am I ever not being a bitch), I recently saw a person write on the wall 'if you have nothing intelligent to say, shut your gaping orifice.' Which is a fair call. However, shortly thereafter the very same person made a post that said 'the wall is calling me to write something. SOMETHING'

Now that is a prime example of someone who, having nothing to say, didn't let it stop them. It took all of my restriant not to point out to the person that they really should be following their own advice.

nothing but numbers
nothing real

person that they really should be following their own advice
going back to real life
nothing to hear

i hope that you pointed it out to them in the most sarcastic way

that really is a superfluous word in almost all instances, isn't it?

i feel like i've stumbled upon an existentialist's meeting!

to be or not to be

nothing to say

superfluous or superfluo?

Shall I shit or let it prairie dog for another half hour

That is the question

.

.

that is so nice that your hat matches your jacket so well. Butt does it match your purse?

which purse hand or pocket

Pocket….do you play pool

"prarie dog" is that some weird form of Cockney Rhyming Slang?

fake…………. fake………. fake…. fake

germany,nazi and mercedes.

canada, immigrants

united states…
not enough football(soccer) support
land of the free

India
- stupid cows steering traffic wierdos in abundant

Saudi Arabia
- wierdos in abundant no cows steering traffic

Canada, white people, native american or
Canada, native american, white people
Take your pick

England
Negative – Anything Outside of Yorkshire
Positive – Yorkshire and ME

U.S.A.

negative- president bush

positive- cant think of anything

Ireland.
Drunks

Drunks

country:
positive: lap steel
negative: the lyrics

United States of America
– a hypocritical government run by religious rogues
the best and most profitable movie making industry on the planet

Canada
- A prime minister that's a mini – Bush.
Cold enough to keep any drinks tasty!

Does the prime minister drive you around?

England
Reading, Berkshire
- Leeds, Yorkshire

you mixed the and – around, but its ok, i will forgive you

Forgiveness from an
OFFICER and GENTLEMAN

Italy, sleazy men, lamborghini's

Taiwan:
Food
- People

nah, forgiveness because i love him and want to fuck him in the arse

India
-population
Me

India

- call centres

Ceylon

Canada

- They are a cross between the French and the Americans, why not throw a bit of German in there too just to make them really fucked up?

Skiing

Scotland

- Too many midges

Best grouse shooting ever

Ireland

- Not being able to catch them little Leprechaun Folk

The accent

The Ivory Coast:

Hot and sunny
- I dont' know where the fuk it is.

France

- Its France
How graceful they are in defeat

The USA

Free Speech (for now, until they add more to the effin' Patriot Act….)

- The lack of truth in "separation of church and state". Too many things are decided because of religion, even if they deny it.

U.A.E

- traffic,escalating rent,concrete jungle, superficial, currency pegged against american dollar
scores of people who agree with the above

The Vatican:

Folk don't swear a lot
– No prostitutes

I'm a big fan of Kurt Vonnegut, Joseph Heller, Danielle Steel, and Mark Twain.

Does anyone else have some bitingly sharp sarcastic writers?

Mark Twain owns.

I love David Sedaris.
And I think that Little Miss Sunshine is a great satire.

J.K.Rowling is pretty sarcastic too(at least i think so)

2 million versus 4000 in a battle 2000 years ago

King of Persia(army of 2 million): come, join us the persians you will be free to rule among your own lands and will be second only to my army

King of Sparta (army of 4000): come, join us, you will be free to rule among your own lands and will be second only to my army

i read that in a book on the subject i thought it was pretty funny lol

The people who write Scrubs..they are amazing..who else can write a speech hating everything in existence, including Hugh Jackman!

anything said by Dr. Coxe on Scrubs

I agree, the man is a god

David Lodge writes novels satirizing academic culture. They're pretty damn funny if you're into that stuff.

Douglas Adams and Jasper Fforde are also good for light reading.

Oh my god, Dave Sedaris is so f***ing funny! I love that dude.

Augusten Burroughs.
not only was running with scissors so shamelessly written,
but also:
Dry (explains the humour)
Magical Thinking
Sellevision and
Possible Side-Effects

i highly reccomend these reads!

on another note:
honest Lee by lee liddel was probably the most life changing book i have read, as i sat there whilst reading and went "fuckin' right buddy" after almost everything he wrote.
poignant but funny, his sarcasm is beyond that of which i've read, and i hope to be like him one day.

fuck, i sound like i'm trying to write a review..

Doctor Cox is truly a God… I can watch clips and all the seasons over and over again… One of the best shows on TV…
and the Janitor is awesome too.

James Hadley Chase does well too.

Dave Barry…

evolution? they said to themselves…who needs it? – from the hitchkers guide to the galaxy. Douglas adams is my first choice

The monty python and the holy grail written by I have no idea is the second

Oscar Wilde and Mark twain

Joseph keller of the catch 22 fame

The writers of scrubs

dean koontz is the greatest

deank koontz writes horror sci fi fiction..um where's the satire
(and i like dean koonts don't immediately jump to the conclusion i hate him and get all defensive)

i am just in a questioning mood today

oh crap man! i thought we were just talkin about our favorite authors haha my bad….but actually now that i think about it, the main carachters in his books use alot of sarcastic remarks…

Mark Twain or Oscar Wilde. They're classic.

Christina From Greys Anatomy, she's cn b a real ass sometimes lol

I think we're forgetting the people that are best this….. The writers for Family Guy. They do at least a few comical satires per show.

Elizabeth in pride and prejudice.

she's hilarious.

catch 22
candid

David Sedaris is hilarious…and Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail is like one of the funniest movies ever

Carl Hiaasen. He's a master at matter-of-factly sarcastic.

I'm with you!

I've read most everything by Adams, including his non-fiction.
The book 'Last Chance to See', about endangered species, is sad and wry at the same time.
Also in the middle of the new Thursday Next book.

Glad to see other appreciators.

Oh, and how silly of me to forget the mistress of modern satire, Dorothy Parker (1893-1967).

To quote a few:

"He (Robert Benchley) and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery."
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy."
"If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised."
"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

In conversation:
"Ilka Chase : "Not only was Clare (Booth) loyal to her friends she was very kind to her inferiors.
Dorothy : "And where does she find them ?"

Frank Case (Manager of Hotel where she was staying) "Do you have a gentleman in your room?"
Dorothy : "Just a minute. I'll ask him."

And her book review:
"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."

Ah. Just the causticism the doctor ordered.

A modest proposal by Jonathan Swift is hilarious when read in the context of the socioeconomic problems of the day.

the reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.

twain.